Abusive words damage for life
Tina Miller
Issue date: 2/8/10 Section: Opinion
This is for everyone since we all have been an offender and/or a victim of this atrocity. You can call it criticism, backstabbing, jealousy or envy. I call it verbal abuse and hurtful messages perpetuated by insensitive people.
The problem with hurtful words and language is that so often it's contextual. There are times and places where you can share these terms without reprimand. I know I have offended people using expressions that I didn't think were offensive, yet turned out otherwise. I know it's tricky not to step on someone else's toes, but just because it's not easy doesn't mean we shouldn't all work hard not to do it.
"The childhood maxim that sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you is wrong. In fact, hurtful words can haunt you all your life and may lead to heart disease, depression, suicide, or stress, or even the aggression witnessed in the Littleton, Colo., shootings," cautions W. Penn Handwerker, professor of anthropology, University of Connecticut, Storrs. "The words that come from people with power over your life, such as teachers and parents or peers you admire, have the most impact," he says in the article "Hurtful Words Can Leave Lifetime Scars."
Verbal abuse has many consequences such as making you doubt yourself, your abilities and your own judgment. It will cause serious emotional damage that can last a lifetime.
I know this because I speak from personal experience. I recall that no matter how much I tried to please certain people, nothing I did would ever be good enough to stop the abuse. I began to believe what was said as the truth because it came from someone close to me whom I loved and respected.
The thing is that not all hurtful words will have the same impact or level of pain if said by someone close to you as compared to a stranger or acquaintance. It depends on who is spouting the poison if they will be able to crush your spirit.
I know that if someone I trust, love or want approval from, like a parent, my partner, a friend or an employer said a mean derogatory comment about me to my face or behind my back, I would be devastated and horribly depressed, or maybe angry.
If you're being verbally abused an option is to get counseling to help you uncover and heal those scars. It really does help and teaches you multiple ways on how to respond and or avoid those situations. However, some wounds can be so deep they will stay with you forever, but you don't have to keep placing yourself in that position or place. Otherwise all you're doing is allowing the cycle of abuse to continue.
A solid piece of advice to those who may not think before they speak or not believe what they have to say or did could possibly hurt someone else, consider this: "He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin" (Proverbs 13:3).
The problem with hurtful words and language is that so often it's contextual. There are times and places where you can share these terms without reprimand. I know I have offended people using expressions that I didn't think were offensive, yet turned out otherwise. I know it's tricky not to step on someone else's toes, but just because it's not easy doesn't mean we shouldn't all work hard not to do it.
"The childhood maxim that sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you is wrong. In fact, hurtful words can haunt you all your life and may lead to heart disease, depression, suicide, or stress, or even the aggression witnessed in the Littleton, Colo., shootings," cautions W. Penn Handwerker, professor of anthropology, University of Connecticut, Storrs. "The words that come from people with power over your life, such as teachers and parents or peers you admire, have the most impact," he says in the article "Hurtful Words Can Leave Lifetime Scars."
Verbal abuse has many consequences such as making you doubt yourself, your abilities and your own judgment. It will cause serious emotional damage that can last a lifetime.
I know this because I speak from personal experience. I recall that no matter how much I tried to please certain people, nothing I did would ever be good enough to stop the abuse. I began to believe what was said as the truth because it came from someone close to me whom I loved and respected.
The thing is that not all hurtful words will have the same impact or level of pain if said by someone close to you as compared to a stranger or acquaintance. It depends on who is spouting the poison if they will be able to crush your spirit.
I know that if someone I trust, love or want approval from, like a parent, my partner, a friend or an employer said a mean derogatory comment about me to my face or behind my back, I would be devastated and horribly depressed, or maybe angry.
If you're being verbally abused an option is to get counseling to help you uncover and heal those scars. It really does help and teaches you multiple ways on how to respond and or avoid those situations. However, some wounds can be so deep they will stay with you forever, but you don't have to keep placing yourself in that position or place. Otherwise all you're doing is allowing the cycle of abuse to continue.
A solid piece of advice to those who may not think before they speak or not believe what they have to say or did could possibly hurt someone else, consider this: "He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin" (Proverbs 13:3).
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
Martin Brookes
posted 2/08/10 @ 5:56 PM CST
"The strong will survive and the weak will perish"
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