Western Courier

Issue date: 11/20/09 Section: Opinion

Skylar Patridge/cartoonist

With our emergence into the dating scene and reaching the age where we can legally enter bars, we are also exposed to the peculiarities of picking people up. There are subtle ways, like offering lingering glances, winks and such, there is the "natural" technique, which is simply striking up a conversation, and then there is the method it seems several people tend to fall back on: the cheesy pick-up line.

These lines range from the simple "Do you come here often?" to the evergreen classic "What's your sign?" to two of my special favorites, "Do you wash your clothes in Windex? 'Cuz I can see myself in your pants," and "F*** me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?" which has amazing backfire potential.

We all laugh about them, yet many people still tend to use them, and my question is why? Just as with yelling sexually charged comments to passersby, has anyone in the history of the world ever really picked up a date, or even just a one-night stand for that matter, by mentioning the fact that there are 206 bones in the body and asking if they'd like one more?

Even better are those who can't even muster the courage to verbally use one of these lines to pick someone up but rely on writing it down. When my friend and I were out at a bar recently, she was approached by a guy who oh-so-suavely tossed a Chapman's "Cheap and Used Books" coaster down in front of her, with a note on the front telling her to turn it over. On the back was a handwritten invitation to be taken out for "a fancy dinner" and his name and phone number. All I could do was laugh and wonder how many other girls had been tossed the same pick-up coaster.

When it comes to attracting someone of your preferred sex, here's the thing. The best chance you have to get a date with someone is not by sending over a message or telling them you must have died and gone to heaven because there's an angel in the room. Strike up a conversation and take the time to talk to them. Don't be creepy or pushy about it - if it looks as if they are uninterested, chalk it up to experience and move on.

Just be yourself and leave the pick-up lines to the amateurs.

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