Campus Confidential
Traci Tyler
Issue date: 11/13/09 Section: Opinion
So you've been seeing the same person for a while now and you've come to that point in your relationship where things have started to become regular. You do the same things, watch the same movies and hang out with the same people.
Sure, some people need routines to survive, or they would never make it through the day. But the saddest thing that can happen in a committed relationship, barring cheating or tragedy, is when even your sex life suffers in the same boring rut. There's nothing more unsatisfying than the same two or three positions for 10 minutes of what feels like a simple case of "getting the job done."
What complicates the matter is when you feel too embarrassed, afraid or shy to ask, or frankly even tell your partner what you want from him/her in the bedroom. Many people often think that their partner will feel like he/she is being attacked, as if his or her techniques aren't good enough. Certainly in some cases that can be true, but for the most part, it's a matter of variety.
Also, if you're too embarrassed or shy to tell your partner what you need to get to sexual nirvana, then honestly you shouldn't be participating in the act. Though some people treat it as such, sex isn't a game, and satisfaction isn't something that only happens to lucky people.
If you know the way to your gently point your partner in that direction. If subtlety isn't his or her strong suit, don't be afraid to give them a detailed road map or show them the way yourself if you have to.
Experimentation is also key to keep your sex life fresh. If there are certain things you are interested in trying, whether it be working your way through the Kama Sutra or introducing toys and other implements to your bedroom games, feel free to test the waters with your partner. However, be prepared to let that whole bondage thing go, just in case.
Staying sexually satisfied is too important to let yourself get stuck in a rut. Unfulfilling encounters can lead to trouble elsewhere, and if your relationship is important to you, you won't be afraid to head trouble off at the pass with a few quick tips.
Let your fingers do the walking.
Sure, some people need routines to survive, or they would never make it through the day. But the saddest thing that can happen in a committed relationship, barring cheating or tragedy, is when even your sex life suffers in the same boring rut. There's nothing more unsatisfying than the same two or three positions for 10 minutes of what feels like a simple case of "getting the job done."
What complicates the matter is when you feel too embarrassed, afraid or shy to ask, or frankly even tell your partner what you want from him/her in the bedroom. Many people often think that their partner will feel like he/she is being attacked, as if his or her techniques aren't good enough. Certainly in some cases that can be true, but for the most part, it's a matter of variety.
Also, if you're too embarrassed or shy to tell your partner what you need to get to sexual nirvana, then honestly you shouldn't be participating in the act. Though some people treat it as such, sex isn't a game, and satisfaction isn't something that only happens to lucky people.
If you know the way to your gently point your partner in that direction. If subtlety isn't his or her strong suit, don't be afraid to give them a detailed road map or show them the way yourself if you have to.
Experimentation is also key to keep your sex life fresh. If there are certain things you are interested in trying, whether it be working your way through the Kama Sutra or introducing toys and other implements to your bedroom games, feel free to test the waters with your partner. However, be prepared to let that whole bondage thing go, just in case.
Staying sexually satisfied is too important to let yourself get stuck in a rut. Unfulfilling encounters can lead to trouble elsewhere, and if your relationship is important to you, you won't be afraid to head trouble off at the pass with a few quick tips.
Let your fingers do the walking.
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