Trailer Trash:The Edge reviews movies based solely on their trailers
Dalton Boland
Issue date: 11/11/09 Section: The Edge
Movie trailers pack the best moments, the funniest lines and mood setting music into a two-minute punch. What better way to judge a movie than from a trailer? So based solely on these teasers, here's a sneak peek at…
"The Twilight Saga: New Moon"
Coming from a man who has never read a "Twilight" book, didn't see the "Twilight" movie and didn't previously know any character's names besides Edward Cullen, this movie looks pretty good.
It appears to be needlessly sexual. The majority of the trailer contained either a shirtless man or some intense "mouthwatering" bloodlust.
Edward seems like a total downer, good thing he leaves after muttering a few self-deprecating asides. That wolfman, Jake, is a fantastic replacement. It's good to see that the spirit of AC Slater is alive and well.
"2012"
We've all heard the story before: the Mayan calendar ends on Dec. 21, 2012. This movie suggests that massive tidal waves, devastating earthquakes and meteorites will be the cause. I have no idea how the Mayans saw that coming.
Apparently, in four years American engineering has made some impressive leaps. The government made massive, indestructible ships that could survive the end of the world in a single 24-hour period.
The big conflict is who should be brought onto the boat. Is it the choice of the government, or is it the people's right to fight for line position like parents at Toys 'R' Us on Christmas Eve?
Good thing that weak storyline takes up about 20 percent of the movie, while the rest is giant CGI destruction. Because if people live, is it really the end of the world?
"Pirate Radio"
It's the 1960s, and Britain has outlawed rock 'n' roll on the radio. The parliament has just had too much of the twist.
Naturally, an American commandeers a pirate ship and starts a radio station while sailing just off the British coast. He gets a rag-tag group together to create a station charged solely by rock 'n' roll.
"The Twilight Saga: New Moon"
Coming from a man who has never read a "Twilight" book, didn't see the "Twilight" movie and didn't previously know any character's names besides Edward Cullen, this movie looks pretty good.
It appears to be needlessly sexual. The majority of the trailer contained either a shirtless man or some intense "mouthwatering" bloodlust.
Edward seems like a total downer, good thing he leaves after muttering a few self-deprecating asides. That wolfman, Jake, is a fantastic replacement. It's good to see that the spirit of AC Slater is alive and well.
"2012"
We've all heard the story before: the Mayan calendar ends on Dec. 21, 2012. This movie suggests that massive tidal waves, devastating earthquakes and meteorites will be the cause. I have no idea how the Mayans saw that coming.
Apparently, in four years American engineering has made some impressive leaps. The government made massive, indestructible ships that could survive the end of the world in a single 24-hour period.
The big conflict is who should be brought onto the boat. Is it the choice of the government, or is it the people's right to fight for line position like parents at Toys 'R' Us on Christmas Eve?
Good thing that weak storyline takes up about 20 percent of the movie, while the rest is giant CGI destruction. Because if people live, is it really the end of the world?
"Pirate Radio"
It's the 1960s, and Britain has outlawed rock 'n' roll on the radio. The parliament has just had too much of the twist.
Naturally, an American commandeers a pirate ship and starts a radio station while sailing just off the British coast. He gets a rag-tag group together to create a station charged solely by rock 'n' roll.
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