Western Courier

Issue date: 10/9/09 Section: Opinion

Skylar Patridge/cartoonist

It's a question that plagues the mind of every college student at one point or another: is it too soon to have sex on the first date?

In these days of post-sexual revolution it seems all too standard that sex is expected to happen quickly. We are no longer prudes, eyes clenched tight against a flash of ankle. We have the right to use our bodies as we see fit, and as a result. pleasure has become a principal element of our lifestyle. However, with all that said, is first date sex smart?

Sure, you may be really into the guy or girl you are seeing, the right buttons are being pushed and all systems are go, and you may even have a long history of flirtation with that person, but is that really enough to create a substantial relationship once the deed has been done? Even if a relationship isn't what you are looking for, can you handle the possibility of substantial fallout? Even though we like to pretend that the double standard of men being studs and women being sluts no longer exists following society's sexual awakening, the cold hard truth is that it is always there, no matter if we believe it personally or not.

First date sex can also lead to some tough issues, not the least of which is where you stand with one another once your clothes are back on and the heat of the moment has gone cold. Your expectations may be different from that of your partner's. You may be thinking that carnal knowledge allows you access to your partner's life and an integration into his or her social and family circles, and meanwhile he or she is thinking that everything has moved way too fast, or even worse, that you have moved into friends-with-benefits territory. Another thing to consider is how often this has occurred in the past; does he or she have a history of first dates that end up being one-night stands?

Whether or not you have sex on the first date has to be a personal choice in the end. You alone have to decide what you are willing to do, how far you will go and what you want to sacrifice. I'm not advocating abstinence, nor calling for a return to prudish ways, but I do advise taking your time and thinking the situation through. It can save you a lot of emotional anguish if you find out whether or not the person is worth giving yourself to before you give in to your deeper urges. In the end it will be ultimately more satisfying than those few steamy moments on the floor of your bedroom.

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