From the EDGE desk...
Cody Boland
Issue date: 9/16/09 Section: The Edge
Sometimes I stop to ponder what life means. I like to think that everyone has their place in life. My place is to analyze things and turn them into sentences, and Megan Fox's place is to be that obscenely hot chick in those "Transformers" movies.
Her role makes sense; she is strikingly gorgeous, and the love interest of some dorky kid with nappy hair who has somehow landed starring TV and movie roles at a younger age than most people reading this paper. OK, maybe it could make more sense, but in a Michael Bay film that's definitely the most plausible thing to happen.
And then there are those occurrences that confuse and distress an individual such as myself. I see previews for a film called "Jennifer's Body," where she plays an obscenely hot lesbianish demon-chick who murders boys.
Just one of those things that makes me question if life makes any sense.
I'll be fair; the film does have all the tenets of a Megan Fox movie. Slow seductive poses that turn heads faster than the mouths on them can yell "objectify." Lines of dialogue that have no chance of ever being uttered by a real human, and slow seductive poses that … like I said, a Megan Fox movie.
Still, there's something that I just don't like about Megan Fox being in this film. She simply is not getting typecasted enough as an actress.
If there's one thing I am, as an ever-aging legal adult, it's bitter. People's critical and financial success makes me realize how poorly I am doing. Can't Miss Fox just be that random hottie from some nonsense robot movie? Why does she have to continue to be in highly promoted movies that are different genres and appeal to different crowds?
So I guess I'm just jealous of a 23-year-old female playing pretend for a living.
In my jealousy-fueled mini-obsession with Megan Fox, I did what any stalker without the means to travel halfway across the country would do. I looked at her IMDB page in search of more bitterness fuel.
Delving into her bio with all the morbid lust for entertainment drama as a bipolar housewife, I get stuck on the fact she is a natural blonde. Interesting, but whether or not the curtains match the carpet does not do much to justify my random dislike of her.
Her role makes sense; she is strikingly gorgeous, and the love interest of some dorky kid with nappy hair who has somehow landed starring TV and movie roles at a younger age than most people reading this paper. OK, maybe it could make more sense, but in a Michael Bay film that's definitely the most plausible thing to happen.
And then there are those occurrences that confuse and distress an individual such as myself. I see previews for a film called "Jennifer's Body," where she plays an obscenely hot lesbianish demon-chick who murders boys.
Just one of those things that makes me question if life makes any sense.
I'll be fair; the film does have all the tenets of a Megan Fox movie. Slow seductive poses that turn heads faster than the mouths on them can yell "objectify." Lines of dialogue that have no chance of ever being uttered by a real human, and slow seductive poses that … like I said, a Megan Fox movie.
Still, there's something that I just don't like about Megan Fox being in this film. She simply is not getting typecasted enough as an actress.
If there's one thing I am, as an ever-aging legal adult, it's bitter. People's critical and financial success makes me realize how poorly I am doing. Can't Miss Fox just be that random hottie from some nonsense robot movie? Why does she have to continue to be in highly promoted movies that are different genres and appeal to different crowds?
So I guess I'm just jealous of a 23-year-old female playing pretend for a living.
In my jealousy-fueled mini-obsession with Megan Fox, I did what any stalker without the means to travel halfway across the country would do. I looked at her IMDB page in search of more bitterness fuel.
Delving into her bio with all the morbid lust for entertainment drama as a bipolar housewife, I get stuck on the fact she is a natural blonde. Interesting, but whether or not the curtains match the carpet does not do much to justify my random dislike of her.
Be the first to comment on this story