Nick Jonas for president
Dalton Boland
Issue date: 9/9/09 Section: The Edge
Like it or not, Nick Jonas has accomplished more in his 16 years of life than any of us ever will. The kid has a fortune, an army of tween girls that would obey his every command and a level of cuteness gone unseen since the debut of Pikachu. Nick (and his brothers, I guess) are a marketing masterpiece. That being said, the adorable adolescent is taking the logical next step anyone would in his position. Nick Jonas plans to become the president of the United States.
On CNN's "The Situation Room," Jonas explained to Wolf Blitzer, "I've always said I'd like to be the president. That's kind of my whole thing. I'm starting the campaign now." Although he delivered the line with a boyish grin, the connotation was clear. This kid was dead serious.
No adult in his or her right mind would vote for Nick Jonas, for anything, ever. Between musicians, the average music listener and parents of 12-year-old girls across the nation, the Jonas Brothers may be the most hated family in America. And at this point, they should know that. Could his statement be a brilliant publicity stunt? That rationale isn't too far fetched. Let's face it, how else would the Jonas Brothers have an article about them in the Western Courier?
I'm the kind of guy who likes to think these types of things through, so let's imagine for a second the plausibility of his statement. What if baby Jonas actually did run for president?
The Jonas Brothers have just signed a multimillion-dollar touring deal with Live Nation. A presidential campaign costs at least 100 million dollars. With merchandise sales and previous earnings, I would estimate he's only about 90 million dollars away from launching a legitimate, although small, campaign. So he's pretty close.
He has even spoken to Congress about raising diabetes awareness, a subject that he has dedicated himself to for some time. On "The Situation Room," when asked why he was on the show, he responded, "I'm here basically to raise (diabetes) awareness." He continued to say, "And I want people to continue to do what they can to raise awareness." He has had great success on that front; I would assume the vast majority of people are aware of diabetes. Nice work, Nick.
Surprisingly, his life of touring and unmatched contributions to the fame of diabetes hasn't consumed his social life. No, we're looking at Miley Cyrus as the potential first lady. Is there a more rock solid model of character out there? Plus, he still has 19 years to go through law school and find his puppet master, which is arguably his greatest talent.
Everyone hates Nick Jonas, but to deny his success is just ignorant. It may seem ridiculous now, but don't be surprised if someday we're calling this Mickey Mouse tenor Mr. President.
On CNN's "The Situation Room," Jonas explained to Wolf Blitzer, "I've always said I'd like to be the president. That's kind of my whole thing. I'm starting the campaign now." Although he delivered the line with a boyish grin, the connotation was clear. This kid was dead serious.
No adult in his or her right mind would vote for Nick Jonas, for anything, ever. Between musicians, the average music listener and parents of 12-year-old girls across the nation, the Jonas Brothers may be the most hated family in America. And at this point, they should know that. Could his statement be a brilliant publicity stunt? That rationale isn't too far fetched. Let's face it, how else would the Jonas Brothers have an article about them in the Western Courier?
I'm the kind of guy who likes to think these types of things through, so let's imagine for a second the plausibility of his statement. What if baby Jonas actually did run for president?
The Jonas Brothers have just signed a multimillion-dollar touring deal with Live Nation. A presidential campaign costs at least 100 million dollars. With merchandise sales and previous earnings, I would estimate he's only about 90 million dollars away from launching a legitimate, although small, campaign. So he's pretty close.
He has even spoken to Congress about raising diabetes awareness, a subject that he has dedicated himself to for some time. On "The Situation Room," when asked why he was on the show, he responded, "I'm here basically to raise (diabetes) awareness." He continued to say, "And I want people to continue to do what they can to raise awareness." He has had great success on that front; I would assume the vast majority of people are aware of diabetes. Nice work, Nick.
Surprisingly, his life of touring and unmatched contributions to the fame of diabetes hasn't consumed his social life. No, we're looking at Miley Cyrus as the potential first lady. Is there a more rock solid model of character out there? Plus, he still has 19 years to go through law school and find his puppet master, which is arguably his greatest talent.
Everyone hates Nick Jonas, but to deny his success is just ignorant. It may seem ridiculous now, but don't be surprised if someday we're calling this Mickey Mouse tenor Mr. President.
Viewing Comments 1 - 10 of 12
Anonymous
posted 9/09/09 @ 3:41 PM CST
I've wanted to get into politics and run for president ever since I was old enough to know what being the president involves. I'm only a few years older than Nick Jonas, and if I run against this kid in a campaign, I'm ashamed to say that I would probably lose. (Continued…)
nick j for prez!
posted 9/09/09 @ 4:41 PM CST
i will vote for u!!!! i think u would make a exellent prez!well i have to be older to vote but......... :) i vote nick!!!!
Punya
posted 9/09/09 @ 5:59 PM CST
u know was u faggot reporter.... the jonas brothers r not the most hated family in america... in fact ur fukin ass is so just leave em alone.... hundreds of millions of kids would vote 4 him. (Continued…)
Anonymousn 2
posted 9/09/09 @ 7:04 PM CST
Listen here Punya you are about 13 right? Well I am going to be an adult before you as is the rest of teenagers my age and let me tell you that I will make damn sure that Nick JOnas doesn't run for President. (Continued…)
CrushinOnAJonas92
posted 9/09/09 @ 8:14 PM CST
Nick would be on of the best presidents we ever had weither some of you want to admit it or not.Its the flippin truth so i say VOTE JONAS!!!!
scrubslvr
posted 9/09/09 @ 11:23 PM CST
i am actually involved in the political arena, and i would not b suprised if nick did run, and even win presidency. he has gotten a great start as a teenage lobbyist, but we just have to wait and see since he is not even close to an age at which he can run. (Continued…)
Garbage
posted 9/10/09 @ 12:16 AM CST
I have an inkling that this was supposed to be a sarcastic column, and either you were laying it on really thick or you love Nick Jonas. My guess is that you are just a rookie columnist with little talent. (Continued…)
Kiara
posted 9/10/09 @ 4:16 PM CST
okay whoevever wrote this article is a fag and needs to go get a life!!!! Nick Jonas would probably be the best damn thing that could happen to this country!! He would me an AMAzING PRESIDENT, just like he is an amazing singer and person right now!!!! I would be his first lady and we would fix up this messed up america. (Continued…)
jessie
posted 9/10/09 @ 8:20 PM CST
Nick Jonas for President in 2040! Ok so no one, including Nick himself is sure if this will actually happen, however, at the age of 16, Nick has indeed accomplished more in his life than most of us ever will. (Continued…)
Kaylee
posted 9/12/09 @ 7:41 AM CST
i would vote for him!! :) and trust me, not everyone hates nick jonas :L
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