Jackson, the human pill bottle
Cody Boland
Issue date: 8/26/09 Section: The Edge
Ah Michael Jackson, what can be said about him that hasn't been said about Elvis? Well for one, he was thin as a stick and had a voice more reminiscent of a castrated howler monkey. But besides comparisons to other greats, I'll say Michael Jackson was the greatest rock star ever, but perhaps for a different reason than many would quote.
A regular rock star lives a crazy life. Booze, broads and brain damage sums up the average rock star experience, but to be a truly great rock star, a person has to amp it up past that. Michael Jackson did exactly this.
Let's look at the average rock star night. These guys can party hard. A bottle of Jack and a few lines of blow leave these guys in a special state of mind. Some take it even further than that. Kurt Cobain was remembered for mainlining heroin till his untimely death, but simple needle drugs were not enough for the truly great.
Michael Jackson partied with anesthesia. While Kurt had to score some smack, Jackson hired a trained medical professional as his own personal drug dealer. While Kurt tied off, Jackson had a drip IV strong enough to knock out an elephant.
With a mask and glasses, people thought the man was just being weird. But really he was hiding the fact that he was higher than birds flying over a burning opium field.
People thought Jackson was stuck in a childhood he never had, but he was probably just so loaded that he thought an amusement park in his backyard would be a funny idea.
Michael Jackson took drugs the way a regular person drinks water. His pharmacy bill was more expensive than Harvard tuition.
The man was not weird. He was stoned. More stoned than any college student could begin to understand.
Sure we are past the point where this is a front page story. But the man should still be immortalized as a heavy-duty rock star and as a man who puts other drug users to shame.
Anyone who thinks they have an alcohol or other substance problem should stand in awe of the singer who ingested more painkillers than a football team, and lived (for a while at least) to tell about it.
Jackson's death may be seen as untimely, but it can be looked at as an ode to the biggest druggie rock star that has ever lived - and then died.
A regular rock star lives a crazy life. Booze, broads and brain damage sums up the average rock star experience, but to be a truly great rock star, a person has to amp it up past that. Michael Jackson did exactly this.
Let's look at the average rock star night. These guys can party hard. A bottle of Jack and a few lines of blow leave these guys in a special state of mind. Some take it even further than that. Kurt Cobain was remembered for mainlining heroin till his untimely death, but simple needle drugs were not enough for the truly great.
Michael Jackson partied with anesthesia. While Kurt had to score some smack, Jackson hired a trained medical professional as his own personal drug dealer. While Kurt tied off, Jackson had a drip IV strong enough to knock out an elephant.
With a mask and glasses, people thought the man was just being weird. But really he was hiding the fact that he was higher than birds flying over a burning opium field.
People thought Jackson was stuck in a childhood he never had, but he was probably just so loaded that he thought an amusement park in his backyard would be a funny idea.
Michael Jackson took drugs the way a regular person drinks water. His pharmacy bill was more expensive than Harvard tuition.
The man was not weird. He was stoned. More stoned than any college student could begin to understand.
Sure we are past the point where this is a front page story. But the man should still be immortalized as a heavy-duty rock star and as a man who puts other drug users to shame.
Anyone who thinks they have an alcohol or other substance problem should stand in awe of the singer who ingested more painkillers than a football team, and lived (for a while at least) to tell about it.
Jackson's death may be seen as untimely, but it can be looked at as an ode to the biggest druggie rock star that has ever lived - and then died.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
jenna
posted 8/26/09 @ 2:31 PM CST
Ya...I'm in agreement with the first comment. How DARE you write such filth?! Before you decide to call some one a "human pill bottle" and in the wake of their untimely death, you should NEVER EVER judge them. (Continued…)
Martin H. Lefff
posted 8/31/09 @ 9:41 AM CST
Concerning Judgement upon the Doctor That Served Michael Jackson
To the End of His End-Life (View from a Theatre-Folk)
When We Actors, Performers, Entertainers, Musicians, Singers and Dancers have
an Exalting-Role to Portraying, We are Trans-Mortal, Some of my Kin become
Confused by this and Think they are
Immortal in their Performing, we cannot be Immortal when we are
So Incarnate. (Continued…)
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