Beer shouldn't be priority
Jeff Henderson
Issue date: 10/8/08 Section: Opinion
So you are a proud lover of beer. You always drink your choice of brew to the last drop, and when you find half-empty cans on your counter the morning after a party, your eyes well up as if you are any person of the female gender watching "The Notebook."
Yes, nothing can come between you and your beer, and there are no lengths you wouldn't go to protect its sanctity. Well, a USA Today headline from earlier this summer may make you question the extent of your commitment: "Aussie Fined for Buckling Beer, Not Kid." The USA Today added that, "the 30-can beer case was strapped in between two adults sitting in the back seat of the car. The child was also in back, but on the car's floor."
Before we get too critical of this gentleman's actions, we must look at his perspective and be careful not to rush to judgment. If you really think about it, there are plenty of possible explanations for why this violator (no name given) was forced to do this. I have read some mind-blowingly unbelievable things before. Blind people stealing cars, pieces of cereal in the shape of states selling for thousands of dollars, Ozzy Osborne completing an enunciated sentence, and so on. It makes you wonder just how stupid this particular fellow must be.
Police Officer: I really cannot wait for you to explain strapping your case of beer in a belt and leaving your kid on the floor panel.
Driver: I swear I don't know how it got there!
Police Officer: Are you kidding? It's strapped in a seat!
Driver: No, I mean the kid!
Police Officer: What?! Whose kid is it?! Why is there beer in a belt!
Driver: We stole it.
Police Officer: What? Where did you steal the beer from?
Driver: No, I mean the kid.
Police Officer: …
Driver: I mean…the KID stole the beer and we don't know how he got there!
I am assuming - giving the driver the benefit of the doubt - that the driver's answering process was roughly of this caliber of intelligence. You, the reader, may have been thinking of a much more clever argument the driver might have used. (Perhaps he could have argued that he was using the case as a booster seat?) I myself do not give him that degree of credit.
In the end, the driver was fined for not ensuring the safety of his child. The story, however, was unclear if the child was given a safe ride home (or the beer).
However, the next time you are in Australia and you see a stream of cars driving slowly and cautiously for a routine funeral procession, you may want to think twice. A certain someone may have just purchased a precious new keg.
Yes, nothing can come between you and your beer, and there are no lengths you wouldn't go to protect its sanctity. Well, a USA Today headline from earlier this summer may make you question the extent of your commitment: "Aussie Fined for Buckling Beer, Not Kid." The USA Today added that, "the 30-can beer case was strapped in between two adults sitting in the back seat of the car. The child was also in back, but on the car's floor."
Before we get too critical of this gentleman's actions, we must look at his perspective and be careful not to rush to judgment. If you really think about it, there are plenty of possible explanations for why this violator (no name given) was forced to do this. I have read some mind-blowingly unbelievable things before. Blind people stealing cars, pieces of cereal in the shape of states selling for thousands of dollars, Ozzy Osborne completing an enunciated sentence, and so on. It makes you wonder just how stupid this particular fellow must be.
Police Officer: I really cannot wait for you to explain strapping your case of beer in a belt and leaving your kid on the floor panel.
Driver: I swear I don't know how it got there!
Police Officer: Are you kidding? It's strapped in a seat!
Driver: No, I mean the kid!
Police Officer: What?! Whose kid is it?! Why is there beer in a belt!
Driver: We stole it.
Police Officer: What? Where did you steal the beer from?
Driver: No, I mean the kid.
Police Officer: …
Driver: I mean…the KID stole the beer and we don't know how he got there!
I am assuming - giving the driver the benefit of the doubt - that the driver's answering process was roughly of this caliber of intelligence. You, the reader, may have been thinking of a much more clever argument the driver might have used. (Perhaps he could have argued that he was using the case as a booster seat?) I myself do not give him that degree of credit.
In the end, the driver was fined for not ensuring the safety of his child. The story, however, was unclear if the child was given a safe ride home (or the beer).
However, the next time you are in Australia and you see a stream of cars driving slowly and cautiously for a routine funeral procession, you may want to think twice. A certain someone may have just purchased a precious new keg.
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