Check out some weird inventions
Jeff Henderson
Issue date: 4/18/08 Section: Opinion
My personal favorite device feeds your cat and has a birdfeeder for your neighboring songbirds. It is the "Satan-approved" Combined Bird Trap and Cat Feeder. The name itself should tell the how it works. The unsuspecting hungry bird feasts on birdfeed until it's pulled down to its last chirp through a pole-like device and into a grinding mechanism. Polly is then squeezed out the bottom, as if it were ground beef, feeding your feline. Great for science fair projects.
Despite these ingeniously awful inventions, there are others even more horrendous. Examples include the inflatable dartboard as well as inflatable anchor, a battery-powered battery charger, solar-powered flashlight, glow-in-the-dark sunglasses and, for the politically incorrect, a peddle-powered wheelchair and a Braille camcorder or driver's manual.
One last invention is the Santa Claus detector, which fits secretly into your stocking. I'm still waiting for mine in the mail, but also creating a Combined Santa Trap Fireplace Feeder out of my chimney.
Of course, I wouldn't dream of hurting Santa. But the electronic yodeling pickles are mine.
Despite these ingeniously awful inventions, there are others even more horrendous. Examples include the inflatable dartboard as well as inflatable anchor, a battery-powered battery charger, solar-powered flashlight, glow-in-the-dark sunglasses and, for the politically incorrect, a peddle-powered wheelchair and a Braille camcorder or driver's manual.
One last invention is the Santa Claus detector, which fits secretly into your stocking. I'm still waiting for mine in the mail, but also creating a Combined Santa Trap Fireplace Feeder out of my chimney.
Of course, I wouldn't dream of hurting Santa. But the electronic yodeling pickles are mine.
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