The Truth About Boobs - Guys: Keep on loving them
The Edge Forum talks breasts: Are they beautiful or are they an inconvenience?
Cody Boland
Issue date: 2/27/08 Section: The Edge
Fat-like mounds have never looked better! Any guy will say boobs are creations that rival any masterpiece the world has ever known. If given a choice between a world without boobs or a world without oxygen, men would be learning to hold their breath.
It is not a degrading but instead an embracing viewpoint that boobs are most likely to be viewed as the single most appreciated thing in the world by the male population. This is weird, because one often hears the females, those blessed with the aforementioned pillows of happiness, complaining about them. "They're heavy," followed by a "they're uncomfortable" and, inevitably, a "stop staring at them," is just a sample of the kinds of things girls tend to complain about.
What women do not do is give their breasts enough respect. Even the ones who show them off in shirts a 12-year-old would find tight do so without giving credit where credit is due. It's important to analyze the amazing benefits women gain from their sweater pillows. The obvious one is that with men drooling over them, women never have to pay for a drink, but nobody gives them credit for their other uses. For example, boobs make excellent flotation devices. Also, they provide cushioning from jarring incidents like bumping into things.
More importantly than what women gain from breasts is the effect they have on the world around them. Think of all the general happiness they bring wherever they go. A pair of breasts is great for the feng shui of any room. This is where many women deviate from the kind of world a man would like.
Women simply do not flaunt their funbags enough. Wearing conservative shirts is fine for grandmothers and Hillary Clinton, but generally speaking, hiding these mountains of mesmerizing mammary are cutting off joy that the world would otherwise be partaking in.
There's another complaint - sports bras. Talk about a no-fun zone. This layer of cloth that girls wear when working out, or just being lazy, creates the universally disliked "uni-boob," and until the men of the world devolve into Cyclops, the laws of symmetry state that two is which they exist - that of a baby fountain. Of course men love the things, but babies really can't get enough. Did you know that breast milk contains more than 100 ingredients not found in formula? Well, if you did, then you're odd, but it's a true statistic. Basically, breasts are the givers of life, the ideal of beauty and two fond ways of remembering somebody all in one.
Remember this simple equation: boobs + anything = great. There is nothing a pair of breasts cannot enhance, and the land is a better place because of women who understand this. Women, love your breasts, because it can be counted on that the males of the world definitely do.
It is not a degrading but instead an embracing viewpoint that boobs are most likely to be viewed as the single most appreciated thing in the world by the male population. This is weird, because one often hears the females, those blessed with the aforementioned pillows of happiness, complaining about them. "They're heavy," followed by a "they're uncomfortable" and, inevitably, a "stop staring at them," is just a sample of the kinds of things girls tend to complain about.
What women do not do is give their breasts enough respect. Even the ones who show them off in shirts a 12-year-old would find tight do so without giving credit where credit is due. It's important to analyze the amazing benefits women gain from their sweater pillows. The obvious one is that with men drooling over them, women never have to pay for a drink, but nobody gives them credit for their other uses. For example, boobs make excellent flotation devices. Also, they provide cushioning from jarring incidents like bumping into things.
More importantly than what women gain from breasts is the effect they have on the world around them. Think of all the general happiness they bring wherever they go. A pair of breasts is great for the feng shui of any room. This is where many women deviate from the kind of world a man would like.
Women simply do not flaunt their funbags enough. Wearing conservative shirts is fine for grandmothers and Hillary Clinton, but generally speaking, hiding these mountains of mesmerizing mammary are cutting off joy that the world would otherwise be partaking in.
There's another complaint - sports bras. Talk about a no-fun zone. This layer of cloth that girls wear when working out, or just being lazy, creates the universally disliked "uni-boob," and until the men of the world devolve into Cyclops, the laws of symmetry state that two is which they exist - that of a baby fountain. Of course men love the things, but babies really can't get enough. Did you know that breast milk contains more than 100 ingredients not found in formula? Well, if you did, then you're odd, but it's a true statistic. Basically, breasts are the givers of life, the ideal of beauty and two fond ways of remembering somebody all in one.
Remember this simple equation: boobs + anything = great. There is nothing a pair of breasts cannot enhance, and the land is a better place because of women who understand this. Women, love your breasts, because it can be counted on that the males of the world definitely do.
Viewing Comments 1 - 10 of 15
bret foglesung
posted 2/28/08 @ 12:05 PM CST
Right on dogg!!! Right on!!
Beverly Thompson
posted 2/28/08 @ 6:10 PM CST
You are correct in saying that the female breast is beautiful, but it is only beautiful when it is a part of the entire female body. It is the entire female bodess that is beautiful and making the breasts a single object for your sexual pleasure is both revolting and degrading, no matter how much you claim it is not. (Continued…)
Chase
posted 2/28/08 @ 7:04 PM CST
Bev,
I don't think anyone needs to change. The writer does not say anyone needs to change, and all he is doing is giving an A+ to breasts. It's a lighthearted debate about breasts in the entertainment section of a newspaper. (Continued…)
Megan
posted 2/28/08 @ 9:58 PM CST
This article is something else. I understand guys like breasts-there's nothing wrong with that. He makes that abundantly clear in his article. However, there's a difference between just talking about something and being completely rude and disrespectful. (Continued…)
Bethany
posted 2/28/08 @ 9:58 PM CST
What about the article made your friends feel worthless? It was funny! Breasts are great, guys like them and they are part of the beautiful female body. (Continued…)
Perky
posted 2/29/08 @ 1:26 AM CST
I love to sport my perky breast and yes I pass the pencil test. Now, you apes are wondering what the hell is the pencil test? You don't know do ya? Hey gals, just keep em guess'in. (Continued…)
Eligbl1
posted 2/29/08 @ 9:47 AM CST
SAVE SECOND BASE !!!
Mammary Mike
posted 2/29/08 @ 2:11 PM CST
This guy is right! Breast are the best! Especially what he says about changing the feng shui of a room. Just the other day my friends, Johnny Funbags, Joey Juggys and myself were laying around my room playing Guitar Hero. (Continued…)
Kristina O.
posted 2/29/08 @ 2:36 PM CST
You suck at life!
Do you have a girlfriend? Not an invitation, more like based on this article if you do her name is probably Rosie & has five sisters. (Continued…)
Mammary Mike
posted 2/29/08 @ 4:50 PM CST
Wow! Will maybe if Rosie, his 5 sister or Harry ever paid you a visit you wouldn't be so upset. You're so up tight you make Gloria Steinem look like Girls Gone Wild. (Continued…)
Post a Comment