Spring Break
The dirty on men's underwear
Chuck Somerville
Issue date: 8/27/07 Section: Opinion
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Each morning presents itself with a few basic choices: what clothes to wear, what food to consume, what classes to go to, etc. One thing I don't have to choose is the type of undergarment I am going to wear (unless they're all dirty, then it's not going to be a good day). I am a boxer man. I wear them, I flaunt them and I am proud of it.
The question of the decade is as follows: Boxers or briefs? I am a born-again boxer-wearer since the 8th grade. I grew up in the "briefs crib." I was a follower of the whitey-tighty clan until I found the freedom of the boxer revolution, and I've been wearing them ever since. What I don't understand is how someone can take the compactness of briefs. So, for your enjoyment and interest, I have compiled facts about boxers and briefs.
The No. 1 thing people look for in clothing is comfort. Boxers are just more comfortable; they are loose fitting. On a hot day, a draft is all a guy might need to help get along in his day. With boxers, air just flows because there are no restricting straps clinging to one's leg. The freed space also helps out with those times when an unexpected visitor pops up.
Briefs, on the other hand, are tight and constricting. They take your manhood and force it together (closer than people stuck together on the bus in front of Morgan Hall). A guy could become hurt if he gets excited because of the lack of freedom that is a given.
Another factor in the choice of underwear is what I call "the embarrassment factor." Boxers are like mini-shorts, and they are less revealing. If I have to go to the bathroom, I am comfortable walking there in my Scooby-doos, which glow in the dark. Boxers make it easier to get the paper or take out the garbage on a late night where one doesn't have to dress for the occasion.
Briefs are just socially unacceptable because of the disagreeable, negative outlook on them in society. Even if you're thinking, "I'm OK walking to the bathroom in my briefs," trust me, put some shorts on. People are embarrassed to raise their eyes toward you. The bulge is too much.
The question of the decade is as follows: Boxers or briefs? I am a born-again boxer-wearer since the 8th grade. I grew up in the "briefs crib." I was a follower of the whitey-tighty clan until I found the freedom of the boxer revolution, and I've been wearing them ever since. What I don't understand is how someone can take the compactness of briefs. So, for your enjoyment and interest, I have compiled facts about boxers and briefs.
The No. 1 thing people look for in clothing is comfort. Boxers are just more comfortable; they are loose fitting. On a hot day, a draft is all a guy might need to help get along in his day. With boxers, air just flows because there are no restricting straps clinging to one's leg. The freed space also helps out with those times when an unexpected visitor pops up.
Briefs, on the other hand, are tight and constricting. They take your manhood and force it together (closer than people stuck together on the bus in front of Morgan Hall). A guy could become hurt if he gets excited because of the lack of freedom that is a given.
Another factor in the choice of underwear is what I call "the embarrassment factor." Boxers are like mini-shorts, and they are less revealing. If I have to go to the bathroom, I am comfortable walking there in my Scooby-doos, which glow in the dark. Boxers make it easier to get the paper or take out the garbage on a late night where one doesn't have to dress for the occasion.
Briefs are just socially unacceptable because of the disagreeable, negative outlook on them in society. Even if you're thinking, "I'm OK walking to the bathroom in my briefs," trust me, put some shorts on. People are embarrassed to raise their eyes toward you. The bulge is too much.
Viewing Comments 1 - 4 of 4
Dan
posted 8/27/07 @ 1:34 AM CST
that opinion piece was moderately funny but also completely pointless. good job, western courier.
Jase
posted 8/27/07 @ 9:33 PM CST
I would have to agree. Why the bad start to the semester with a pointless opinions piece? And what about boxer briefs!
C.J.
posted 8/28/07 @ 12:21 AM CST
Any guy who feels compelled to justify to the world the kind of underwear he wears is probably secretly wearing pink silk and lace panties anyway. He's obviously insecure about what he's wearing. (Continued…)
Mike
posted 9/15/07 @ 11:54 PM CST
It all comes down to personal preference folks. I love my tighty whities! Being active, boxers just aren't a healthy option for me. I always been a fan of full fitted briefs such as JC Penneys. (Continued…)
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