Western Courier

Issue date: 9/6/06 Section: News

Media Credit: K.C. Vetter We crawled for Western students and then crawled home. Unfortunately, we forget most of what happened the next day. Oops.

Zach Wingerter: It is no secret that one of the favorite activities of Western Illinois University students is visiting the bars. To better convey the atmosphere of seven select Macomb bars, the two of us dug down deep and sacrificed our Friday night to go on a four-hour bar crawl.

K.C. Vetter: We hit up Parkside Sports Bar and Grill, Hall's Bootlegger's, the Café, the Ritz, the Change of Pace, Two Dogs and the Forum.

ZW: We rated each bar on a scale of one to five in five categories that we think makes a bar desirable: prices (bang for your buck), food, conversational atmosphere, dancing/live music and auxiliaries.

KCV: Auxiliaries consist of things like TVs, pool tables, dart boards and other random entertainment drunk people love to spend money on.

ZW: We'll be thumbing through our notes and trying to bring a personal review of the Macomb nightlife scene to the newspaper.

KCV: Our goal is to give you, the reader, a feel for each bar and the types of conversations and activities each has to offer through the experiences we had. On to the crawl.


Parkside


ZW: Our adventure began at Parkside, which had the least bar-type feel to it of the seven bars on our agenda.

KCV: Like I said when we were there, it is basically the Battle of Little Bighorn of Macomb bars.

ZW: That was the point when I realized which one of us had pre-gamed before the bar crawl.

KCV: Well it is; it's small. With its 182-person capacity, it's a good place to go to catch up with friends after a long week of school.

ZW: Yeah, it's quiet enough to sit down to talk and watch a game or two on TV without being so quiet that everyone in the place hears every word you say.

KCV: Plus you don't have to worry about people walking into you like the bigger bars - there's enough seating for anyone who wants a seat.

ZW: Parkside is kind of like a launching pad - it's a nice place to come, sit down and grab a bite to eat, and then when you're done, you're already on the Square and ready to begin your night out on the town.

KCV: They've got a pool table and plenty of TVs tuned to different sporting events, so there's something for every sports fan at Parkside.

ZW: Plus, there aren't typically many guys whose asses I feel obligated to kick because of popped collars or otherwise stupid clothes.

Parkside Report Card:
Prices: 2
Food: 5
Conversational atmosphere: 5
Dancing/live music: 1 (karaoke is set up from time to time)
Auxiliaries: 4 (for pool table, TVs, touch screen games and arcade games)
Plus, K.C. gives Parkside one bonus point because the Sox were losing when we came into the bar.

Total: Parkside gets 18 out of 25 points and the Launching Pad Award.


Bootlegger's


ZW: Best straws in town!

KCV: Only you would care about a bar's straws.

ZW: What can I say? I'm a fan of fluorescent bendy straws.

KCV: At one point, you were talking about talking to a psychiatrist and all I could picture was a guy going crazy listening to you and drawing pictures on his notebook of him hanging himself.

ZW: Thanks for that. I should mention that it was at Bootlegger's when your drunk texting spree began.

KCV: That is not true! At that moment it was simply a pressing matter as to whether any of my friends had a copy of "Finding Nemo" on VHS.

ZW: ... you don't even remember who you texted, do you...

KCV: No, shut up.

ZW: Why was that even important at the time?

KCV: Because I love Sydney in that movie!

ZW: What does Sydney have to do with anything, except Australia?

KCV: I don't know, but I'll tell you who doesn't have anything to do with Australia anymore: Steve Irwin.

Bootlegger's Report Card
Prices: 4 (long islands and amaretto stone sours for $2 each)
Food: 2 (kitchen open 11 a.m. to 9 p.m.)
Conversational atmosphere: 5
Dancing/live music: 2 (live band from time to time)
Auxiliaries: 1 (We saw Western alumnus Mike Scifres punt live on TV)
Plus, Zach gives Bootlegger's two bonus points for playing "The Distance" by Cake.

Total: Bootlegger's gets 17 out of 25 points and the Best Straws In Town Award.

KCV: Shut up!


The Café


KCV: One word: Bartholomew.

ZW: The Café had a live band, Bartholomew, playing and they literally rocked the house. The only demerit was that the Café was almost too crowded, but an establishment should not be docked points for providing entertainment that many people enjoy.

KCV: When heading to the quieter downstairs portion of the bar, the first thing people notice is the low ceiling. If you're Jason Nevel, duck.

ZW: The second thing you'll notice is a jukebox stocked with Aerosmith, Boston and a perfect assortment of classic rock.

KCV: I lost Zach as he bolted for the arcade games in the basement ...

ZW: ... and I lost K.C. when we got back upstairs and she got into the dancing pit. It was at that point that I started feeling the effects of the "shadow" you had me try - I didn't expect it to make me insane.

KCV: Shadows at the Café - try 'em. That's my official Bar Crawl Recommendation.

Café Report Card
Prices: 3 (somewhat expensive, but bartenders tend to not go light on mixed drinks)
Food: 1 (free popcorn)
Conversational atmosphere: 4 (when a band isn't playing)
Dancing/live music: 5
Auxiliaries: 5
Plus, Zach gives the Café two extra points for Pink Floyd playing as we entered the basement.

Total: The Café gets 20 out of 25 points and the Live Music Hotspot Award.


The Ritz


ZW: I was very impressed as we walked into the Ritz. The establishment totally changed from the last time I was there - they even had trivia games like the ones at Old Chicago and Buffalo Wild Wings.

KCV: And I locked myself in the bathroom and couldn't figure out how to escape.

ZW: Unfortunately, due to the lack of students who stuck around for Labor Day weekend, the upstairs portion of the bar was closed.

KCV: The lack of people did make it a nice atmosphere to simply sit and visit with friends.

ZW: After making the necessary trip to the TouchTones Jukebox to play a Rush song, K.C. and I -

KCV: Hey, untrue. You played Hanson's "Mmmbop" before Rush.

ZW: You're right, I did. Sorry, Friday night Ritz-goers - that was me. I'll chalk it up to being four bars into a bar crawl.

Ritz Report Card
Prices: 3 (nothing special, nothing bad)
Food: 2 (kitchen open during day)
Conversational atmosphere: 2 (typically, downstairs is OK and upstairs is too loud to think)
Dancing/live music: 4
Auxiliaries: 5 (pool tables, darts, trivia game, internet jukebox - jackpot)
Plus, Zach gives the Ritz two bonus points for being most improved.

Total: The Ritz gets 18 out of 25 points and the Mmmboperrific Award.


The Pace


KCV: The Pace was very busy, as usual.

ZW: With four serving stations, the Beer Garden, pool tables, dart boards and an oft-advertised-as-three-tiered-dance-floor that really only has two tiers and a really small third tier, the Pace seems to has the most to offer to the diverse personalities of Western students.

KCV: That was a run-on sentence.

ZW: Why thank you. Also, guys, listen up: I saw the hottest girl I've ever seen in my entire life at the Pace. Apparently that's not an uncommon thing. If you're a pirate, the Pace may just have the booty you're after.

KCV: Dude, that was a guy.

ZW: You locked yourself in the bathroom; I don't think your input is very trustworthy.

KCV: I took Zach's official Bar Crawl Recommendation and had a Woodchuck at the Pace. It was apple-cider-tastic.

Pace Report Card
Prices: 4 (great specials every day and drinks aren't too expensive normally)
Food: 0
Conversational atmosphere: 3 (upstairs and Beer Garden; otherwise the bar is ridiculously loud)
Dancing/live music: 5
Auxiliaries: 4
Plus, K.C. gives the Pace two points for playing "Hey Mickey" by the Go-Gos and Zach gives one additional point for the funniest moment of the night happening at the Pace, where K.C. swore "Hey Mickey" was "Footloose."

Total: The Pace gets 19 out of 25 points and the Best Place To Drink Outside And Not Get A Ticket Award.


Two Dogs


ZW: Because of the Labor Day weekend, it wasn't very packed, so our stays at both remaining bars were a little short.

KCV: We spent a good portion of the time at Two Dogs sitting and writing LOL and ROFLZ in our notebooks.

ZW: I saw a kid puke.

KCV: I dropped my purse and laughed for five minutes.

ZW: To sum it up, I'll quote our notes: "Drunken 'what the f*** is going ons.'"

Two Dogs Report Card
Prices: 3 (middle-of-the-road)
Food: 0
Conversational atmosphere: 3
Dancing/live music: 4 (fun, but not very spacious)
Auxiliaries: 2
Plus, we award Two Dogs two points because we probably forgot some cool stuff that happened.

Total: Two Dogs gets 14 out of 25 points and the Best Place To Stare Out The Window At The Hot Dog Guy Award.


The Forum


KCV: The lighting made me nauseous.

ZW: Yeah, that probably wasn't the lighting.

KCV: The Forum was great, but as with any bar crawl, the night slowly fades to blackness. Unfortunately, that was the Forum's portion of the night.

Forum Report Card
Prices: 3
Food: 0
Conversational atmosphere: 3
Dancing/live music: 5 (best club atmosphere by far)
Auxiliaries: 2 (coat check in winter)
Plus, Zach gives the Forum four points because we really don't remember anything about the Forum and K.C. gives it one additional point for having rails to keep her from falling on her face.



ZW: Well, that's it. After the bar crawl we crawled home with our $5 pizzas.

KCV: We would like to thank all the bars involved for waiving cover in order for us to spend more money on booze, basically.

ZW: Hey, remember how you don't remember who you texted at Bootlegger's?

KCV: Yeah?

ZW: It was me. I was standing right next to you.

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