New cartoons only for buffoons
Zane Ecklund
Issue date: 4/28/06 Section: Opinion
Boy, I sure do feel sorry for little kids. No, not because the economy is bad. And it is not because countries like Iran are developing nuclear weapons, either. Global warming isn't even responsible for my pity. I feel sorry for little kids because all of the cartoons on TV nowadays suck.
Who's to blame for this animated fiasco? We can certainly look at Nickelodeon as a culprit. Back in the day this channel was ripe with wonderful cartoons. "Rocko's Modern Life," "Ahhh! Real Monsters" and last but not least the incredible "Ren and Stimpy." However, it would appear those responsible for such creative and wonderful shows have rolled over and died.
The creative landscape of Nickelodeon is equivalent to Hiroshima. What I'm saying is that it is totally barren, like a post-menopausal woman or Old Mother Hubbard's cupboard. I will concede to one cartoon and that is "SpongeBob SquarePants," which is hilarious. Other than that nothing on this channel is bearable.
You can tell the people developing shows have no idea what they are doing. Their best idea has been to make a new Rugrats show when they are preteens; pretty lame if you ask me. I mean nothing even interesting has happened to them since the original inception. At least make Angelica a teenage mother or Chucky strung out on methamphetamines. That I would watch!
Then there are anime shows based on card games. The people who came up with this are the fiends behind the retardation of America's youth. It makes sense for a toy line to come out of a successful show but whoever thought it would be a good idea to come up with a toy then spawn a TV show?
The logic or lack thereof is mind-boggling. Shows like Yu-gi-oh are stupid. No one wants to watch a TV show about a card game. No one in the history of the world has ever demanded "UNO: The Animated Series."
I had a conversation with a friend about this topic. He said he believes this is Japan's revenge for wiping half its country off the map in World War II. Japan is getting back at us by subjecting our kids to the crappiest cartoons imaginable. Kids are going to see cartoon characters fight their battles by throwing Pokemon cards at each other and someone eventually emerging victorious from the battle. Then one day when the kid is being tormented on the playground he'll bust out his Pokemon cards in self-defense.
Who's to blame for this animated fiasco? We can certainly look at Nickelodeon as a culprit. Back in the day this channel was ripe with wonderful cartoons. "Rocko's Modern Life," "Ahhh! Real Monsters" and last but not least the incredible "Ren and Stimpy." However, it would appear those responsible for such creative and wonderful shows have rolled over and died.
The creative landscape of Nickelodeon is equivalent to Hiroshima. What I'm saying is that it is totally barren, like a post-menopausal woman or Old Mother Hubbard's cupboard. I will concede to one cartoon and that is "SpongeBob SquarePants," which is hilarious. Other than that nothing on this channel is bearable.
You can tell the people developing shows have no idea what they are doing. Their best idea has been to make a new Rugrats show when they are preteens; pretty lame if you ask me. I mean nothing even interesting has happened to them since the original inception. At least make Angelica a teenage mother or Chucky strung out on methamphetamines. That I would watch!
Then there are anime shows based on card games. The people who came up with this are the fiends behind the retardation of America's youth. It makes sense for a toy line to come out of a successful show but whoever thought it would be a good idea to come up with a toy then spawn a TV show?
The logic or lack thereof is mind-boggling. Shows like Yu-gi-oh are stupid. No one wants to watch a TV show about a card game. No one in the history of the world has ever demanded "UNO: The Animated Series."
I had a conversation with a friend about this topic. He said he believes this is Japan's revenge for wiping half its country off the map in World War II. Japan is getting back at us by subjecting our kids to the crappiest cartoons imaginable. Kids are going to see cartoon characters fight their battles by throwing Pokemon cards at each other and someone eventually emerging victorious from the battle. Then one day when the kid is being tormented on the playground he'll bust out his Pokemon cards in self-defense.
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