Ask me, help me, but do not pity me because of my disability
Lynne Senne
Issue date: 10/25/04 Section: Opinion
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Just over eight years ago, I was involved in a WaveRunner accident that left my dominant hand without a thumb, half my first finger and parts of my middle, ring and pinkie fingers.
As a result, I am now ineligible for the military, I cannot snap my fingers, I have great difficulty rolling the sleeves of my shirt, tying my shoes, buttoning clothes and performing a number of other everyday activities that I previously took for granted. But I'm lucky.
While I was hospitalized, a 3-year-old boy was admitted after having lost his legs from the knees down. When I had my prosthesis made, I met a man who'd lost all of his fingers while protecting his colleagues from an explosive. I have since encountered many others who are far, far more disabled than I am.
Disability Awareness Day, which included activities in Western Illinois University's Student Union last Thursday, allowed those without disabilities to experience the challenges presented to those who do.
According to Travis McPeek, Promoting the Rights of Individuals with Disabilities Everywhere member, the goal of the event is to promote awareness among the general community, illustrate the success of the disabled, and gain respect for those with disabilities.
Though I obviously do not endure the extreme challenges presented to those who are severely disabled, I have still been subjected to the discomfort of those unsure of proper etiquette regarding disability.
I offer a few suggestions, in an attempt to alleviate the uneasiness.
First of all, a disability is something we are acutely aware of, and we notice that you notice. Rather than stare and wonder, just ask. It is much less offensive to be asked what caused the disability than it is to be stared at like a freak. Remember, a scar is a tattoo with a more interesting story.
Second, for goodness sake, lend a hand. If a person carrying a stack of books is struggling to open a door, would you stop to help? What then, is the difference if a person in a wheelchair is losing a battle with the same door? Yes, following my accident, my family and I worked hard to ensure that I would not allow myself to be limited by my disability. However, sometimes - just like anyone else - I need some help.
Lastly, I am still a person; I'm in a loving relationship, go to class, study, hold a job, exercise, hang out with friends and spend time with my family. Please do not treat me any differently.
Most importantly, remember that a disability does not define the person. I do not need pity, I do not need praise for completing simple tasks.
I will struggle with this disability for the rest of my life, and the last thing I need added onto that is an awkward reaction to something I am already self-conscious about.
As a result, I am now ineligible for the military, I cannot snap my fingers, I have great difficulty rolling the sleeves of my shirt, tying my shoes, buttoning clothes and performing a number of other everyday activities that I previously took for granted. But I'm lucky.
While I was hospitalized, a 3-year-old boy was admitted after having lost his legs from the knees down. When I had my prosthesis made, I met a man who'd lost all of his fingers while protecting his colleagues from an explosive. I have since encountered many others who are far, far more disabled than I am.
Disability Awareness Day, which included activities in Western Illinois University's Student Union last Thursday, allowed those without disabilities to experience the challenges presented to those who do.
According to Travis McPeek, Promoting the Rights of Individuals with Disabilities Everywhere member, the goal of the event is to promote awareness among the general community, illustrate the success of the disabled, and gain respect for those with disabilities.
Though I obviously do not endure the extreme challenges presented to those who are severely disabled, I have still been subjected to the discomfort of those unsure of proper etiquette regarding disability.
I offer a few suggestions, in an attempt to alleviate the uneasiness.
First of all, a disability is something we are acutely aware of, and we notice that you notice. Rather than stare and wonder, just ask. It is much less offensive to be asked what caused the disability than it is to be stared at like a freak. Remember, a scar is a tattoo with a more interesting story.
Second, for goodness sake, lend a hand. If a person carrying a stack of books is struggling to open a door, would you stop to help? What then, is the difference if a person in a wheelchair is losing a battle with the same door? Yes, following my accident, my family and I worked hard to ensure that I would not allow myself to be limited by my disability. However, sometimes - just like anyone else - I need some help.
Lastly, I am still a person; I'm in a loving relationship, go to class, study, hold a job, exercise, hang out with friends and spend time with my family. Please do not treat me any differently.
Most importantly, remember that a disability does not define the person. I do not need pity, I do not need praise for completing simple tasks.
I will struggle with this disability for the rest of my life, and the last thing I need added onto that is an awkward reaction to something I am already self-conscious about.
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